No matter how extroverted I am when I go out, or what type of mood I am in, I thoroughly enjoy my alone time to recharge: to be alone with myself and my thoughts. When I am alone, I do a lot of thinking, deep thinking. The only difference between myself and anyone else with this is that I have learned to embrace my excessive overthinking / anxiety and turn it into writing. My brain is always active, my thoughts constantly developing and bombarding the walls of my mind. One of the reasons I started this blog in the first place is to make sense of my own head; so writing things out is a process of turning free-flowing ideas into a connected web of concepts. In case you were wondering.
So anyways, who knows if this idea will stick or not, but I have noticed that I do a lot more thinking in the summer, probably because I have more time on my hands and I’m doing less living and more reflecting (although I’m always L-I-V-I-N). So here is tonight’s episodes of Avery’s Brain: the concept of love. Love, in all meanings and forms of the word. Sweet, pure, and undying love ❤
I’m going to start off by saying I have never been in love. Unless you count a big juicy slice of BBQ chicken pizza. I’ve had one too many of those. Have I had my heart broken? Absolutely. Have I cared about people on a deeper level? Don’t even get me started. But, what I have found is that I am so eager to share and celebrate with all of you what I have observed about love and what I think about it. I let the idealistic & naive part of my brain trail off all the time to the endless possibilities of who I will fall in love with one day. I am eager to be able to one day look at a man and be able to give my whole heart to that person. To be so intertwined emotionally that I won’t even know my own soul without his. This is a scary topic to write about because we are in the era of dying romance. It’s simply weird to think about these ideas especially when we are young and free. But love is something that needs to be talked about because it is the strongest force in the world and it has never once failed to bring light to our lives. Love is the good in the world when all else is evil. It is the reason we are all on this earth. Even the most cynical people in the world have the capacity to love if someone shows them they are able.
Love is the closest thing we have to magic; and it is what we all need to feel alive again.
What I have found through my observation is that love is not something that can be thought out or controlled. Love is messy and complicated, with no love being one in the same. It will never stop being the most prominent force no matter how hard some people try to push it away. Love is intimacy: physically and emotionally feeling like you are so closely connected to a person that you would absolutely crumble without their existence. We struggle to put it all out there and experience it because we are so petrified to feel the other extreme: to be pushed down and stripped of your own heart. To have your own soul snatched from another person. But it is so beautiful to be able to say that you were able to have this ridiculous mess of two unique bodies and one unique love, even if it may not work out.
I have seen the type of love that exists around me, everywhere. I have seen forced love, where life and judgment gets in the way and for whatever reason, a couple just feels they need to fake it. I have seen love where the couple is so in awe of each other that no one else is in the room. Love that exists even after years and years of being apart or being heartbroken. And everything in between. We are all deserving of love, and whatever it means to you is valid and worthy of attention.
What we all must teach ourselves is that love will never die down or diminish. It should both scare us and excite us and that a force so strong exists that has the capacity to mend the wounds of the world. Perhaps my idealism and hopeful spirit can remind you that a heart can only stay pure and untouched for a millisecond of a life, because we are put on this earth to mold each other’s souls, to craft the contents of our hearts through experience and connection.
I am raging against this idea that romance is a dying art. I am consistently reminding myself that I will one day find a man who sees me as his whole entire world. A man who appreciates a good shot of tequila and a conversation that makes you forget where you are. A man who will appreciate my madness rather than just calling me crazy. A man who will respect and love my family as his own. A man with a soul kinda like my papa 🙂
I am not in any rush for this because I believe that life has a way of allowing our destiny to do its thing (we only have control of so much). And for something like love, where there is no expiration date or time stamp, we must keep exploring and discovering it. Unveiling its’ truths and trials. Creating art with it. Love your family, your friends, absolute strangers. Have faith in the idea that no matter what negative energies or forces are clouding our vision, love is the force that conquers all.
Don’t be afraid to spread your hearts contents like fairy dust ❤