As a freshman in college I’ve learned the hard way that many people are simply not looking for anything more than the physicality of a relationship. I’ve been afraid to write about this topic even though it’s been at the forefront of my mind for awhile now… and that is partially because in our generation, having feelings for one another is simply frowned upon. We are swallowed up in what we call “the hook-up culture.” As I grow older, I realize how complex the whole dating situation is… and suddenly I understood why all older people are crazy (hehe). The world is so complex and different because everyone has their own way of loving people, which is kinda scary and kinda amazing at the same time. Believe it or not: each of us on this earth is born with a heart… and yet this beautifully complex organ that each of us contains is so unique to the individual.
But the question is: why are we so afraid to have feelings for each other?
Some people simply are not ready or don’t want a relationship. There is nothing wrong with having fun or not wanting anything serious. But what I have been trying to understand forever is why some people are simply afraid of having feelings for someone… which in most cases we can’t even control. The heart wants what it wants. Thank you, Selena Gomez.
To be honest, I think love scares the living shit out of everyone. We live in a world where there is so much lust, so much desire, and looking at people’s beauty from the outside before anything else: where our naked bodies are valued more than our naked hearts. We live in a world where the divorce rate is over 50% and where some people spend their whole lives chasing someone, where others are running away. I think people are afraid of having any sort of feelings for others because it can lead to love, this complex crazy magic that not one person on this earth has a clear definition for. A lot of people experience their first real thing for someone in high school or college and it doesn’t always turn out exactly how we thought it would, and that is okay. But we shouldn’t be afraid of any of this regardless of what type of love we have experienced before… because love is the feeling of all feelings: the basis for movies, for songs, for poetry, for novels. As young people, we absolutely have all the time in the world to settle down, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow what we feel because we are afraid. If we end up connecting with someone there is no reason to ignore that just because our culture deems it as uncool, or because we are afraid. In our reversed world where we get to know each other’s bodies better than each other’s hearts, I challenge whoever may be reading this to think about it and actually challenge yourself to not be so terrified to listen to your heart.
“but dear, don’t be afraid of love, it’s only magic” r.m. drake