“if i never see you again”

It took hours of Coldplay and countless times of thinking that I am losing my mind to get myself to be able to get here. I used to think that if I would write about something that bothered me it would stop consuming me. This isn’t the case. Writing can help us cope, understand, and seek answers. But writing does not erase the importance or potency of a particular feeling or intuition; and sometimes there are no words we can manifest to put meaning to our emotions. Words have always been a tool in my life that I use to cope, express myself, or to seek understanding. But my problem was that some feelings or experiences were so difficult to put our own words to when our emotions are too raw. That’s when I turn to other people. Charles Bukowski, a renowned writer (and alcoholic) said these words:


“if I never see you again

I will always carry you



on my fingertips

and at brain edges

and in centers


of what I am of

what remains”

At this moment I have never found anything more true.


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