I think there’s always a small part of us that, whenever our lives seem to be at their highest points, hopes things will never change. When we live in such euphoria, there is also always a little part of us that feels sad and discouraged because we realize that any given moment after this will probably not compare. When we lose all hope and feel enveloped by despair, we remember these moments, and we wish so desperately that we could go back. So we live these moments through our minds and while they are happening, we hope that these euphoric moments will not die down. But, like anything, all good things come to an end.
I entered college thinking that everything would be roses, and for the most part, it has been. However, I have realized that not everything in “the best four years of your life” is supposed to be so magical. We are supposed to have mental breakdowns. We are supposed to get heartbroken. We are supposed to shove 2 donuts in our faces and then feel guilty after. I have learned to accept that there will be nights where my stress eating will make me feel like a lard, or that some nights I will be up until 3 or 4 AM procrastinating, thinking, and enjoying the silence of the world. I have learned that skipping a class occasionally is not going to make the world stop turning, or that you can be hysterically laughing one moment and crying the next. I have learned that people will eventually get used to you frolicking around your dorm in the perpetual “I have so much homework” groufit whilst complaining that your life is in shambles. And it is okay. There is nothing wrong with any of these things.
When I first got to college I wasn’t sure how anything could get better. It seemed to me that everything I have ever wanted was at my fingertips: independence, frat boys, Dunkin Donuts within walking distance, and constantly meeting different people. And then just as things become comfortable, life hits. I am not saying I’m miserable by any means, but I am just now realizing that it is okay to have a back and forth between the best moments of our lives. It is okay for college to not be so glorious at all points; because we must be real with ourselves and realize that nothing in life is ever untouched by fate.
I know that even at some of my lowest points, I am still where I am supposed to be. I am healthy, educated, and learning that not every moment of the best four years of my life will indeed be “the best.” When we live these euphoric moments we should fully live them, feel them, embrace them; they make us who we are. They don’t last, but they will come again, and we will live them through every experience we have. And even when we are hanging on by a thread, we will still be okay.