A Stingy Subject

*please pardon me in advance for the BEYOND cheesy title*

So with it being summer and me not being able to 1. control my sweat glands/blatter and 2. keep my complaints about roasting in the sun to a minimal, the solution is always the ocean. I spend a lot of my summers down the shore and some of my fondest memories are there. However, I am absolutely petrified now to even dip my pinky toe in any form of coastal waters. I watched a video the other day:

and not only was it the funniest car vlog I have seen, but it’s ridiculously true. We are in the shark’s house. For all of the times we the people have used the ocean as our public restroom, it is now our turn to experience the unpleasant. SEA LIFE IS STRIKING BACK. And they are taking our limbs with them. Not only have their been more than enough shark attacks these past few weeks, but now there are Portuguese man-of-wars (as if regular jellyfish aren’t scary enough). SO LIKE, COOL. I’m trying to keep the ER trips at a minimal this summer, but that will probably not happen unless I keep my tooshie out of the ocean. I am probably going to be avoiding it at all costs now and instead, will bring a giant cooler of ice water to dump on my head as needed. Hopefully my leg muscles will get a workout from having to walk to the repulsive beach bathrooms now 🙂 RIP ocean days, you were fun while you lasted.

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