11 Ways To Tell if You’re a Graceful, Floating, Whimsical Flower Child

Okay, you are anything but a whimsical flower. You are fabulously dweeb-ish. I’m not necessarily talking about the kid that gets a 2400 on the SATs. I’m talking about the one that will be having a conversation with you and then realize that there’s a ketchup stain on their white shirt and then will proceed to try to clean it off and end up smearing it and making it worse. ARE YOU THAT PERSON? If these apply to you, then yes. Welcome to the dweeb world.

1. You cannot be trusted with any fragile item because it will shatter as soon as it touches your hand. 

“WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?”

“Oh uh just the cat, don’t worry” *scrambles to get a broom*

2. “Ramble” is your middle name because life is wayyyy too awkward for silence. Chances are you have said a lot of stupid things too because there is no such thing as a filter in your world. 

3. Your music selection ranges from Celine Dion to Wiz Khalifa. (#SWAG) 

4. You have completely mastered the “snort laugh” without even trying. 

“Oh my god you just snorted”

“HA HA *snort* I KNOW”

5. You find the incessant need to crack every bone in your body and by the end of the routine everyone is staring at you because it’s been like 5 minutes but you still poppin’ like Rice Krispies. 

6. You lose it when someone makes a fart sound. 

In the wise words of my 11th grade AP Lit teacher, “Fart jokes will always be funny!”

7. You have had one too many “windows down jam out but let me make full on eye contact with the car next to me and then quickly speed away because I’m embarrassed” moments.

Self thought process: “Maybe it’s time to download the clean version.”

8. “Honestly who cares I will never see that person again in my life!!!!!” 

-you after any public humiliation (intentional or unintentional)

9. Your dance moves are soooo live. You wonder why you have yet to be selected for So You Think You Can Dance (especially when your jam comes on) 

“crumping”  n e v e r  went out of style for you

10. Your friends have a collection of ugly pictures of you via snapchat (and a bunch of those really lovely zoomed in ones that you let all your chins come out for) 

11. You’re always being told to hush because you cannot hear yourself talk and you’re still talking about how ugly Becky’s prom dress is even after Becky walks in the room. 

“Does she know that she looks like a disco ball or…?” …. “OH HEY BECKY I WAS SAYING HOW DAZZLING YOU LOOKED IN YOUR PROM DRESS!!!!! super cute!!!!!”

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